Hello Cruel World

Just what the world needs.   Another blog.   Yeah, I know.   Worse, another blog by some blowhard writer–a fictioneer, no less–spouting on at length about what was et for breakfast, or how many pointless words were pounded out today, no doubt with a meter at the bottom to illustrate.

Well, not quite.  Not exactly.

First, let me introduce myself.   I’m Craig Wolf, and I write odd and usually dark fiction.  Not because I’m a particularly dark or odd person, although i can be.  It’s just how my stories skew.  What the hell, you go with what you got.  I’ve published two books at this writing–a short story collection called Pressure Points and a really nasty short novel called Trespass.  Amazon’s got ‘em, as do a few other joints around.  I’ve also published a couple dozen short stories in the small press, finished two more novels, and in a few months will embark on a big fat novel about genocide that I should have my head examined for even dreaming of writing.

So I’m writer in the small press dreaming of leaping to the big pond, so what?  Why another blog?  Just to hype myself?

Well, sometimes, sure.  And sometimes I will talk about writing and politics and whatever the hell.   As some poet said, and maybe I paraphrase, “I’m fat, I got room.”

But you may have caught the phrase ‘in a few months’ above.   I do intend to start the Big Damn Genocide Book in due course.  In the meantime, however, I get to have a corneal transplant.  Thus the blog.

A few years ago, I was diagnosed with a charming eye disease called keratoconus.   This is a disease wherein the cornea thins and bulges, resulting in halos, monocular double-vision, and light sensitivity.  And discomfort.  Lots of it.   My eye doc told me that people with keratoconus develope a fairly high threshold for eye pain, and that by the time we tend to report contact lens discomfort, a fair amount of damage has been done.

According to kcresources.com, keratoconus affects, at most, about 600 people per 100,000.   In something like 80% of all keratoconus cases, the disease progresses so far and then stops.

I’m one of  the 20% where it doesn’t. 

We’ve tried different iterations of rigid gas permeable lenses, gas perms piggybacked on soft lenses, and finally, scleral lenses.   All to no avail.   The rgp’s, which I’d worn for years (and which may have contributed to severity of my condition) were quickly proven to be untenable.   No matter how custom shaped they were, my eyes lost tolerance for them in fairly short order.   The piggy back method felt okay, and the vision was acceptable, but there were problems with the breathability of the setup.  Certain blood vessels weren’t getting with the program.  The scleral lenses worked for a while, then the lens intolerance kicked in.   Right now, I have my good days and my bad days (bad being defined as I can’t wear the damned things at all, and thus am left blind as a bat and unable to do much of anything).

Not to get all whiney, but as a reader, this sucks.   Over the last two years I’ve gone from reading 2-3 books a week to 2-3 books a month.   (Lately, those have been limited to what I can find in large print; my local library does a steady business in large print Fern Michaels novels, but as yet I’ve not been forced down that road.)  As a writer, it’s been little better.   By blowing the font up to insane sizes, I can still work, but fatigue and strain set in pretty quickly. 

In 22 days, that will become . . . different.

On October 30, one day before my favorite holiday, I will receive a donated cornea.

It has been of much use to me to read online the progress of others who have gone down this path, and at least for now, that’s the primary purpose of this blog.  I’m one of those people who live for detours, though, so those should be expected.   Hell, relished.

Anyway, that’s it for a starter.   Next, I’ll probably chat about my initial consultation with my surgeon, in whom I have utmost confidence, but for now, well, the peepers is pooped.